heart shaped
by prettypinklips
Summary: "She's the kind of girl that would break my heart for fun." jacob/bella, au/ah. New Moon-esque. Minor language.


**heart shaped**

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The first time Jacob Black meets Bella Swan, she's about to throw herself off of a cliff.

He's jogging along the line of trees, trying to clear his head after the latest fight with his dad when he sees her, arms spread wide, face turned towards the sun. He's not sure what she's doing, maybe meditating or some girly shit, but then she tilts forward on her toes, teetering over the edge. And suddenly something like an adrenaline rush hits him, and he's crossed the six yards between them in less than a second, because Jesus fucking Christ, she's going to _kill herself._

Jake catches her around the waist and hoists her back up. She's kicking a spitting and punching, shrieking in a voice that's cigarette colored, "Let me go! Fucking put me down!" her voice is rough, like she'd poured nails into her cereal that morning instead of milk.

He tosses her down, and she sprawls, staring up at him, brown hair covering her eyes. His shadow falls over her, and she pushes her hair out of her face, revealing chocolate brown eyes. "Nice going, jackass," she snarls, standing and brushing her dark-wash jean shorts off. She straightens her Led Zeppelin t-shirt, glaring at him before she turns her face to the sky and raises her middle finger, "And thank you." she snaps sarcastically, "Fucking Christ, I can't even kill myself." she mutters to herself.

He's caught between thinking she's a new kind of batshit crazy, and thinking that she's also pretty fucking hot. She's patting her pockets now, grumbling to herself. She pulls out a pack of Camels and a lighter, sticking the nasty stick of nicotine in between her cracked red lips, lighting the tip, inhaling, and exhaling through her nose. She scrutinizes him, plucking the cigarette from her lips and offering it to him.

Jake shakes his head, "No, thanks." he murmurs in disgust, and she shrugs, mumbling something like "more for me." Suddenly it hits him that he's just, you know, saved her _life_, and he hasn't even gotten a 'thank you'. "I saved your life. Your pretty little skull would have been bashed to bits on those rocks down there if I hadn't have grabbed you," he says gruffly, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

She glances up, looking mildly amused, "Am I supposed to be grateful?" she asks, lifting an eyebrow and flicking her cigarette, ash floating to the ground.

"A thank you would be nice." Jake says flatly, a little irritated. It's weird 'cause she's like, suicidal, and he should feel sorry for her, but he's being a dick. But fucking honestly, she's irritating in a way that makes him want to throw _himself_ off of a cliff.

"I bet you think you're some big hero now, don't you?" the girl asks, laughing maniacally, "Let me tell you something, Rezz boy, you don't know me, and if you did, you'd be glad I threw myself off of that cliff." she flicks the ash from her cig, shaking her head at him.

"Who _are_ you?" Jake asks, staring at her in disbelief. The girl's hands reach up to touch the heart shaped necklace hanging around her neck.

"Bella." she says, tossing her long thick hair over one shoulder, "See you 'round, Rezz." she calls over her shoulder as she turns, walking away. He notices that she's barefoot, and that her toes are different colors: yellow, blue, purple, pink, green. She stubs her cigarette out on a tree trunk as she gets to the tree line, and then she vanishes into the greenery.

That's when Jake realizes he's just met Charlie Swan's flighty, reckless daughter. "Bella," he murmurs, rolling the name around on his tongue.

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The next time he sees her, she's sitting at his dinner table next to her dad, looking bored, amused, and irritated all at the same time. Charlie's talking about the next big fishing trip he's taking with Harry Clearwater, and Billy's listening intently, leaning forward in his wheelchair. Bella rolls her eyes at the old men before tossing him a wink and grinning at him like they share some big secret.

They do, he kind of figures. She jerks her head at the backdoor, "Let's ditch the senior citizens party," she mouthes at him, and she's interesting and scary so he stands up, and she follows him as he opens the back door, stepping onto the grass in his backyard, door banging shut behind them both.

"God," she starts, laughing, "I swear, if I have to hear about another fishing trip, I'll throw myself off of a cliff." her hands fly up to play with the heart necklace against her neck.

Jake gives her a dark look, "That's not funny," he snaps.

Bella snorts, walking forward, "Are you kidding?" she asks, laughing again, "It's hilarious."

"You're crazy." Jake says, and she doesn't look the least bit offended.

"Maybe." she agrees, walking away from him towards the garage. There's an old motorcycle he's been restoring resting in the middle of the garage, paint chipped and peeling. She runs her hands across the chipped paint before giving him a secretive look, "This run?" she asks, and he shakes his head.

"Shame," she murmurs, pulling her hand back. "So you're Jake?" she asks, but it sounds like a rhetorical question. "My dad talks about you like the sun shines out of your ass." she says, sitting on the bike, resting her arms on the handle bars.

Jake shrugs, "Charlie's my second dad."

"Mom?" she asks, curious.

"Dead." he says flatly.

Bella shrugs, not saying she's sorry. "Sucks." she murmurs, tilting her head at him.

"Yeah," Jake agrees.

"Wanna go for a walk?" she asks, jumping off of the bike, holding her hand out to him. She's crazy and flighty and strange, and he's sure this is a bad idea, but he takes her hand anyway, letting her lead him from the garage.

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It's towards the end of June when Jake starts to wonder how his summer turned into walks with Bella Swan, hours fixing his bike, and teaching Bella how to swear in Quilete. He doesn't really mind though. Once you get past the bitchy exterior and the constant swearing, Bella's pretty cool. He kinda likes her. There's always something to like about a damaged girl, right?

He's not really sure why she's so...fucked up. She won't tell him. All he knows is that her mom couldn't handle her and sent her all the way from Jacksonville to lonely ass Forks "to straighten her up" with Charlie's help. Charlie being the Chief of Police in Forks is actually kind of amusing, and Bella has a supply of never-ending jokes regarding her dad and his job.

Jake wants to know why she's crazy and flighty and suicidal, but he figures it's kind of rude to ask, even though Bella is the rudest person he's ever met. But he toes the line, and figures she'll tell him on her own time.

They're walking along the beach, Bella wearing shorts and the usual band t-shirt, and Jake wearing his usual cut off shorts. She's making fun of him, asking if he ever wears a shirt, when she stops suddenly, frantically patting her pockets. "Bells?" he asks, putting a hand on her shoulder. "What're you looking for?"

Bella ignores him, still searching for something, "My necklace- I can't- I- oh." she drops her hands, staring off into space. She starts laughing, then, laughing crazily. Jake stares at her, thoroughly confused.

Bella keeps laughing, but grabs his hand and yanks him down onto the sand, "So, there's this guy." she starts, staring out at the water, "I loved him, more than I ever thought I would love anyone. He used to have the coldest hands, and he had the lamest name ever, but I thought he was perfect. At first, we hated each other, but the more I got to know him, the harder I fell." Bella sucks in a harsh breath, fingers grasping at her collarbone, "I lived and breathed this guy. Edward. His name was Edward. Lame, right?" she breaks off, snorting. "We dated for like six months, and I was stupid over the guy." she stops talking, blinking up at Jake.

"His family, they threw me this big birthday party, and I was pretty sure everything was going to be perfect, but that night, he broke up with me." she snorts out a harsh laugh, "Can you believe that shit? He gave me this big diamond necklace in the shape of a heart, and then four fucking hours later, he breaks up with me!"

Jake blinks, and Bella shakes her head sharply, crazed look in her eyes, "I went nuts, Rezz." she turns away from him, "I lost it, and my mom couldn't handle me. She swore she was gonna send me to Charlie, but I wouldn't let her. I mean, what if Edward came back? Pathetic, right?" she asks, eyes flicking towards him.

Jake doesn't say anything, just lets her keep talking, "I was like...catatonic, you know? I forgot to eat and I didn't sleep. I _couldn't_ sleep. Nightmares." she grabs up some sand, letting it slip through her fingers. "Edward came back eventually, begging for me to take him back. It was all perfect again, too perfect. I learned later that he only came back for my sanity's sake. But by then he'd left me high and dry for some Italien babe, and now all I know is that love and all of that is a bunch of bullshit."

Jake looks out to the water, and asks, "The necklace?"

Bella shrugs, "Guess I forgot to put it on today." she stands, brushing sand off of her shorts. "See you later, Rezz." she waves, walking away, kicking up sand as she goes.

Jake sits there for awhile, thinking Bella would hate it if he commented on how cliche her story was.

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Jake catches Charlie at the station. The old man's slinging on his coat and patting his pockets for his keys when he jogs towards him, "Hey, Charlie."

"Jake, hey, what brings you to Forks?" Charlie asks, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Bella." Jake deadpans.

Charlie goes white, "What'd she do now?" he asks tiredly.

"She hasn't done anything, I mean, I'm just curious about her." Jake rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I just wanna know why she's so doom and gloom all the time. I already know about Edward, but there's gotta be more than that." he says, shrugging.

Charlie's mustache twitches, "She's-she's just sad. And she acts out because of it." Charlie sighs, shaking his head, "She used to be such a good girl, but that ex-boyfriend of hers fucked her over one too many times, and she's paying the price for it now."

Jake nods, "I wish I could help her."

"I think you are," Charlie says, "Since she's been hanging with you she seems more calm...peaceful, even. She just needs someone to listen to her."

"I can do that. I _will _do that." Jake promises.

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"I _hate_ barbecues." Bella says, glaring at the blazing fire in front of her.

Jake snorts, "You hate everything." he corrects, inhaling a hotdog. She wrinkles her nose at him before pulling her little silver flask out of her pocket and taking a huge gulp. "Alcoholic." he mutters, and she smacks his arm.

The beach is filled with people from the Rezz and other well liked people, like Charlie and Bella (by default), from Forks. "Sam's pretty cute." Bella comments, lowering her flask.

Jake gives her a glare, not sure if he's jealous that she thinks Sam's cute or if he's just feeling the instinctive need to protect someone he calls a friend. "He's bad news." he warns.

"Oh, yeah?" Bella asks.

Jake nods, "He doesn't have any fucking morals. You see her over there?" he asks, nodding to a pretty girl across the fire from them. The girl is glaring at Sam, something like hate in her eyes.

"Leah Clearwater?" Bella asks, and he nods again.

"Sam dated Leah while he was sleeping with her cousin on the side." Bella's eyebrows tick up, and Jake keeps going, "Didn't even feel bad when it all came up, just looked smug as hell." a shiver of disgust rolls down his spine. "Like I said, he's bad news."

Bella blinks at him, "Maybe I like bad news." she says teasingly, standing up. Before he can say anything, she's over by Sam. She's flipping her hair and being all girly and shit, touching his arm and letting him whisper in her ear.

He tells himself he stalks home after that only because he'd warned her and she didn't listen.

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The next few days are weird without Bella. He sees her around town with Sam, hanging off of him. Quil and Embry jog up to him when he's in the garage, shaking rainwater out of their hair, "Hey, where's Bella?" Embry asks, peering around the garage.

Jake doesn't move from under the Rabbit he'd bought a couple of days ago, "No idea. Probably with Sam."

Quil makes a face, "Ew, _Sam?_"

"She likes bad boys," Jake shrugs, pushing himself out from under the car. "Nothing I said to her could change her mind."

"I'm sensing some jealousy, Quil." Embry says, adopting a scholars voice.

"I agree, Embry. He's just a tight ball of green ass jealousy." Quil smirks, "Dude, just tell her you like her."

"I hate you both, and _no,_ I'm not telling her." Jake says, wiping his hands on a rag.

"Why?" Quil and Embry ask at the same time.

"She's the kind of girl that would break my heart for fun." Jake says, looking at them squarely.

Quil and Embry are quiet after that.

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He sees her the next day at the only diner in La Push. She's sitting at a booth all by herself, picking at a plate of fries. The heart necklace is dangling around her neck. He walks in, hoping she won't see him. He orders his food, drumming his fingers on the counter. "Jake?" she asks from behind him.

As she speaks, his bag of food is dropped onto the counter. He turns, and she's beaming up at him, waiting for him to speak. "Bye, Bella." he says, grabbing his food and heading towards the door.

She catches his elbow, "_Bella?_" she asks, cocking her head, "You _never_ call me Bella. What happened to Bells?"

Jake stares down at her. He laughs a little, "I give my _friends_ nicknames," he says, "and friends don't ditch friends for the first Indian boy willing to fill that hole in your heart," he prods her chest, "with weed and half-assed sex. We're not friends, Bella."

Bella's mouth falls open, "J-Jake," she breathes, reaching for him, but he's already gone, jogging through the rain towards his house.

She stands there for some time, staring at the space he'd occupied.

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"Jake," she giggles into the phone, clearly drunk, "Jakey. Wake up."

"'m awake." Jake grumbles, wondering why in the hell she's calling him at two in the morning.

"I miss you." Bella whines.

"Call Sam." Jake snaps tiredly.

"He's boring. C'mon, Rezz, why are you avoiding me?" Bella asks. "Rezz, I mean, Jake, we're friends. You're my _only_ friend. My _best_ friend."

"You're dangerous." Jake murmurs, hanging up the phone. Because he likes her, a lot. And whenever he sees her with Sam and Sam's crew, he wants to punch something. He's not down with that because a girl shouldn't make you feel like that, make you feel so angry that you want to beat a tree to a pulp.

It's probably for the best, anyway. If she's cut out of his life early, he won't have to worry anymore. Won't have to worry about her jumping off of cliffs or drinking herself stupid.

Jake drops his cellphone onto his floor, ignoring the vibrates signaling that he's getting a call. He knows it's her. This is what's best.

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Two weeks pass without a word from Bella. She hasn't been to La Push, and she hasn't been seen with Sam. Jake hears Sam talking one day in the diner, snickering with Jared and Paul, "She's a crazy bitch, all hopped up on whatever's in her flask and cigarettes." Sam snorts into his fries, "Bella fucking Swan, can you believe that shit?"

Jake's hands tighten around his Coke glass, and Sam keeps going. He jumps up, chair clattering to the floor. The diner falls silent as he storms up to Sam and his friends. "Do you even _know_ her, Sam?" Jake hisses, hands clenched into fists at his sides. He may not be on speaking terms with Bella, but he's never going to let an ass like Sam badmouth her.

Sam blinks at him, "'Course I know her." he grins, "I know her inside _and_ out." he chuckles.

"I mean, do you _really_ know her?" _Like I do._ Jake thunders, slapping his hands onto the table.

"Dude, calm down," Sam mutters, looking around the silent diner.

"Keep your mouth _shut_ about her, Sam." Jake hisses, stalking out of the diner.

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It's raining and it's two in the morning when there's a knock on his window. Jake rolls out of bed, muttering and running a hand through his hair. There's a shape at his window, tapping at the glass. He stumbles to the window, opening it.

"Hey, Rezz," Bella murmurs, hair soaking wet and sticking to her face. "Got a minute?"

"Bella? Jesus, you're gonna freeze!" he reaches out, grabbing her shoulders and hauling her into his room. He thunks her down on his bed and yanks her sweatshirt over her head. She sits there shivering in her tank top, and he tosses her a t-shirt.

He turns while she wiggles out of her clothes. She settles into his blankets, hugging her legs close to her chest. "What're you doing here?" he asks.

"You weren't answering my calls, and I-I wanted to see you." she answers, patting the pockets of her wet jeans. She pulls out her pack of cigarettes, grumbling when she realizes they're ruined from the water. She drops the pack and her hand flies up to play with her necklace. "You were right about Sam." she says absently. "He's an asshole."

Jake sighs, plopping down beside her, "I warned you." she nods, leaning against him. It's surprising how fast he can forgive her. He loops his arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm.

"I really missed you, Jake." Bella says softly. Her hands fall from the necklace. "I feel better when you're around."

"Missed you too, Bells." he murmurs.

He wakes up hours later to a snoring Bella. She's curled up against him and wrapped in his blankets. He doesn't know why this feels right. He catches sight of the necklace, and reaches out, unhooking it from her neck. He tucks it into his pocket, knowing she's better off without it.

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**A/N:** I wrote this like two years ago and never posted it and I found it recently when I was cleaning out my computer. So, here, my first (and last) Twilight fic!


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